You don't want to miss the fire dancers.

Let's go back in time.


Picture it.  Sicily. 1925.


Hold up, Sofia Patrillo.  I'm telling the story here.  Don't go back that far.


Picture it.  Hawaii. 2008.

We are actually standing in line to go to the luau I speak of in the story.

Lee and I had just spent a lovely day on the beach in Maui and had plans to go to a luau later that day.  The master is going to take a nap and I am in charge of important stuff like calling to pay for tickets to the luau and watching synchronized swimming in the 08' Olympics.


I am on the phone with the travel agent lady and I ask her about paying for the tickets.  She informs me of different prices for different seating areas.  There is a cheaper price for your basic seats and a higher price for some "upgraded" seats.  As I contemplate, a la Rebecca Black, (Which seat should I take? and all that) I ask the agent if she thinks it's worth it for the better seats.  Are they that much better?  Why should I pay more?


And she says, "I would sit up closer, You don't want to miss the fire dancers!"


Fire dancers? This is pretty exciting stuff.  I think about waking Lee up for a second opinion, but decide against it since he is the grumpiest person on the planet for about 15 minutes after waking up.
I buy the upgraded tickets. You know, YOLO!


Lee wakes up, I tell him the story, and the ever-budget-minded man/voice of reason is disappointed with my choice.  I soothe his irritation by telling him it will all be worth it for those wonderful fire dancers.


We drive to the luau.  We wait in line.  We get inside.  We find our seats. Our more expensive, premiere, up close and personal seats, only to discover every seat in the house is basically equal.  There is nowhere that you can see better than anywhere else.  Thanks a lot. Lady.


Herein lies where I was wrong.  Lee was right.  And a tradition is born.  


Every time I am offered something to buy that is upgraded or seems unnecessary, Lee gives me the same sage financial advice and I will share it with you now, for you and your children to benefit from.


"Don't forget.  You don't want to miss the fire dancers."

sneaks

The husband was sitting next to me on the couch e-mailing our real estate agent at 10:00 PM because we are pretty much best friends with her or something, when I thought it would be fun to sneakily take a picture of Biff who snuck up onto the couch to cuddle.

Only the best part was...
Lee looked over in shock to discover me taking a photo of him.
The quality is horrible.
The expression is priceless.
I. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Me: I'm posting this on the internet.
Lee: You get your kicks from some weird stuff.

quirks

via

Even though I loved this, I never pinned it on pinterest.  I must have been saving it for you.

Today I have been thinking about some of my quirks (AKA my OCD tendencies) like...

Even though I can go a week without washing my hair; I start to twitch if I don't shave my legs (or floss my teeth now) every 24 hours.  Literally.  You can ask Lee about it if you want.  Winter, Summer, pants, skirts, going to work, staying home, it doesn't matter, I have to shave my legs.  I remember when Lee and I started dating whenever he touched my leg he would say, "smoooooth," and I thought it was so weird.  I remember thinking, "Did all the girls you dated before me have prickly legs all the time or something?" Well, apparently I am the weird one.  I am pretty sure he thought that would change when we got married.  Oh, how wrong he was.  Dear Lee, remember the time I shaved my legs at 11:00 PM because I could not go to bed with prickly legs? Yes, true story.

Lee always leaves a cup next to the sink to drink water from though out the day without dirtying tons of cups.  How thoughtful right? Well, every day I put it away about 3 times a day which makes it so all the dishes get dirty anyway.  He nicely reminds me of why the cup is there, but I am like a robot.  I am not even thinking when I put it away I am just like (and read the following in a robot voice) "Must. Clean. House." 

Most of my quirks have to do with cleaning and I am pretty sure the shaven legs thing is related to it. 

Another thing that makes my OCD senses tingle is when I see people (men & children) with their shirt on backwards.  You can always tell when someone has their shirt on backwards because it looks like their shirt is on the verge of choking them to death.  Drives me nuts.  How can that be comfortable? 

Ladies, how often do you shave your legs?

Are you a clean freak? (like me)

shoes, thighs and a crisis

here in the house of terrible t we are the in the midst of a

potential

crisis

Long story short: about a week and a half ago I began having a dull pain/minor discomfort in my left thigh during running and only during running. I know, it was seriously a crisis.

Pain began the day of the race: me VS lee
PS: I do not believe the race caused it, but rather what I did the Fri & Sat prior to.
I rested for like 2 days,
then tried to run and still felt it.
I ran the next day and still felt it.
I cried to Lee over my own pathetic-ness and put ice on it.
Clarification: Not crying from physical pain, crying from dissappointment.
The next two days I rested.
{Saturday & Sunday}

About half way through Saturday I came to the realization that I had run somewhere in the vicinity of 800 miles on these:

Crisis potentially averted.

I have bought new shoes, but I bought them in a rush and they were cheap.
I will buy real shoes Saturday or next week.
Testing my cheapies out to see if it is really me hurting or my shoes hurting me.

Yesterday was so so.
Today will be a yoga day.

Wish me luck tomorrow.
I will be really disappointed if I have to miss out on the half marathon I have been training for!

In the meantime I am giving these guys a hug goodbye, and surprisingly they did not stink, even that close to my face.

PS: I am aware you are supposed to replace your shoes every 400 or so miles, but I pretty much just run on them until I fool myself into thinking I am injured. This happened to me last time too.

I need to be better at this stuff.

oops

Yesterday I inadvertently led a lady in my ward to believe Lee and I are struggling with infertility; we are not {yet}.
You know what that say about assumptions...

So if someone tells you to pray for my fertility, forgetaboutit!

If... on the other hand, someone tells you to pray that Biff can enjoy the benefits of a fiber rich diet, I would say unto you, "Good Carp! It is the gospel truth.
Pray Early. Pray Often. For realsies people!
This clean freak cannot handle no more poopies in my house!"

{the baby hater with her niece 2 years ago}

Sister: I am mentoring 5 grad students.
Me: I definitely want to get a Master's Degree, but probably not for a while. I just want to keep my options open so that if I get burnt out from teaching I can make a career change to ESL, Special Ed., Counseling, or something different.
Sister: That's a good idea.
----awkward pause----
Me: Yeah, ... I'll probably wait until after I have kids that are older. Well, you know, if or when I have kids. You never really know about those things.
Sister: As soon as you stop trying to get pregnant, you'll get pregnant.
----awkward pause-----
Me: ....yeah...
----awkward pause----

Which is worse her assumption or my omission?

Another conversation related to baby-making... this conversation has happened word for word at least three times this year.

Random Person: So do you have kids?
Me: No
Random Person: How long have you been married?
Me: About 3 1/2 years.
Random Person: ---silence--- their thoughts: infertile or baby hater

Someday we will {hopefully} be fruitful and overplenish the earth, but for now.... save your prayers for the people of Japan (who need it), since I'm such a baby hater and all.

diet dr pepper: a eulogy

eu·lo·gy /ˈyulədʒi/ Show Spelled[yoo-luh-jee]

–noun, plural -gies.

1. a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person.

2. high praise or commendation.

commend

My Dearest DDP,
It has been a long 25 days without your sweet brown nectar. I think of you often. Sometimes I gaze longingly at gas stations as I drive past. Sometimes when I am with water, I am actually thinking of you, but alas it is not the same my lover. Don't tell water, he would be crushed! I miss your bubbly and guilt free taste on my tongue. Going on errands has lost it's allure without you. My 45 minute commute feels dangerously drowsy without your perky personality. Even Biff misses the days when I would take him for a ride in the car just to visit you at some drive up window. I know not whether our separation will be temporary or permanent. Only time will tell. In July I will see the evil force that pulled us apart (the dentist) and see if it has all been worth it. I hope I have not abandoned you for naught. Though we cannot meet during the waking hours I will see you tonight, in my dreams.


And now for some quotes from my visit(s) to the dentist for your entertainment:

Dentist:
"Your teeth are really good at growing decay."
"Do you drink soda?"
"Do you floss?"
"What a trooper."
"You're going to feel a zinger!"

Other staff at the dentist:
"How long has it been since you've been to the dentist?"
"Your teeth are really white." (weird since my teeth are so good at growing decay)
Receptionist: Where should we go for lunch?
Hygienist: Taco Bell. {Me (only in my head): Gross the meat is 35% meat...?}

Me at the dentist:
"A long time..."
"Let's do this!" (followed by a fist punch in the air as I lay in the chair)
"What's going on with Reba remaking a Beyonce song?"
"My whole cheek is numb; it kinda feels like I got botox."

Happy Flossing!

PS: A eulogy VS an eulogy? I simply could not figure it out (even with the help of google). I followed my gut. Sorry if I am incorrect :(